Kyuushoku vs Kyuu-Shock-Ew

One of the many plusses to teaching English at an Elementary or Junior High School in Japan is the school lunches (給食、kyuushoku）.

It's is nutritious and whatever. More importantly, it costs like $3 dollars max and most of the time, it SLAPS. Rice (or bread), meat, veg, some kind of soup/stew/curry, and milk. Occasionally a little dessert like a frozen tangerine, some jelly or yogurt. I've compiled a list of my favourites here.

Anyway, kyuushoku is the bomb. Except when it's not- then it just bombs.

Sometimes, lunchtime is like my own personal episode of Fear Factor. And since there's a definite 'waste-not, want-not' mentality in Japan, I have to clean my plate. I can't hide the stuff I don't want to eat in my pockets. It's mottainai, y'all! I can't waste food, even when I viscerally do-not-want to eat it.

Shishamo

She's here. She's deep fried. She's heavily pregnant. Who's that kyuushoku? It's Shishamo-chan!

TBH it doesn't taste bad. Once you get over the texture combo of tempura+fish+bones+eggs-bursting-in-your-mouth, it's kinda good. But the first time is the worst time, if you know what I mean.

Whitebait

I have a love-hate relationship with these guys. . . it's mostly hate. With a side of resigned neutrality. They show up in soups (sometimes lurking at the bottom, sunken, shrouded in miso), salads (including the one that gets you high), and stir-fries. And sometimes in dried form with peanuts as a post-meal treat. Maybe even dumped on top of your rice by a well-meaning teacher who wasn't sure if foreigners can open plastic snack pouches. MM MM MMMMM.

Whale meat.

This one is mostly for moral reasons. Please stop hunting whales. Also it's oily and too chewy and I thought of Shamu the whole time.

I didn't take a photo of my whale meal, but the meat looked like this. The salad was different (standard daikon and yuzu affair). Photocred to https://tamarindstreet.wordpress.com/

Shark meat.

This one is mostly for moral reasons. Please stop hunting sharks. Also please stop calling shark meat 'wani', I thought I was literally going to have to eat alligator meat. When it came time to pick up my tray, I was very concerned because it didn't look like either animal to me. It mostly just tasted like over-fried battered fish bits. Which is what it was, I suppose.

Bread day.

it was meatball bread day, so you put the lil meaty bois in the bread and hope for the best.

This is controversial, apparently. But bread day fucking sucks. It's bad even by 'japanese bread standards'. It comes in a little plastic bag. If you're lucky you get a small sachet of margarine or jam. Most of the time you're meant to just scarf it down dry. Sometimes you have to put your meat inside it (a meat and bread sandwich, no condiments, no veg. sad sad sad). Sometimes it's served with pasta tomato soup. Too many carbs! And the kids don't even know to dunk the bread in the soup- they were shook when I did it in front of them! I'm just not a fan of bread day. Luckily it happens only once per week at each, on the same day every week, and my school schedule largely has me avoiding each school on its allotted no-rice-sad-time.

Sad teriyaki chicken.

So small. So tough. Never served with any side dish, not even plain shredded cabbage. Thank goodness for the soup (on this day it was black pepper potato miso with tofu).

Goya.

Bitter melon is an Okinawa speciality. It's not oishii, man. We done been knowing this. Superfood or not, please stop putting it in my lunch.

Aurora Liver.

It's like liver chunks in 'aurora' sauce which I think is just ketchup mustard and Worcestershire mixed for some reason. It's not good. Very very not good.

This specific fish.

I don't know what kind it is. But I don't care for the fish itself, the slimy texture, the sauce, or the vinegar veggies it's served with. When I first started researching school lunch I was mostly concerned with the whole-fish-with-a-face, natto, whale meat side of things. But after two years of sampling Hiroshima kyuushoku, this is my unequivocal least favourite. I think it's a pickled fish? which I've never really had before. I understand that it's popular in some cultures and I know that some people really enjoy it. It just really is not a mood. She's cancelled. This one is just my opinion.

I have 5 working days left on my contract. Five schools, five lunches. Praying I won't come head to head with these villains.

Gochisousamadeshita!