Ultimate Rivals: Nat vs okyakusama slippers

I've been swapping out my outdoor shoes for indoors upon starting my work day, five days a week, for the past two years. At each school, I've got a dedicated shoe locker or cubby with my name on it (except my shared school, which just says "ALT", and the temporary school I had last year, where I got to be Papa Tom for 2 months). And most times it's even been spelled correctly!

I do, however, have a nemesis. No matter how much I push back, they just won't give up. Ever time I think I've successfully put this bitch in their place, next time I turn around, there they are, challenging me yet again.

fuckin bitches ruinin my life

Yes. That's right. For the past two years, I've been locked in an epic battle

of wits, dignity, and personal space. . . with a pair of pink guest slippers.

I've got a coveted 'top cubby' spot. I don't even have to crouch down to grab my shoes when I change them for recess or when leaving school at the end of the day. Right hand, outdoor shoes, left hand, indoor. Drop them on the floor, step into them, continue about my day. But this rhythm is disrupted whenever I roll up to discover my spot has been taken over by this pesky invasive species.

I get it. The staff & student lockers aren't at the main entrance (which is where most guest slippers lie in wait), but the side-entrance has some visitors sometimes. There are four pairs out there, in fact. When I'm not there, the rightmost top cubby is empty. So if four unexpected guests were to turn up at that entrance at the same time, one of them would have to stoop down for slippers in a very undignified manner. Considering the advanced age of the average inaka resident, this might actually be a life-threatening (or at least hip-threatening) circumstance.

Unlike other teachers,who leave their indoor shoes at work when they go home for the night, mine travel with me from school to school. I guess somebody who is in charge of cleaning out there on one of the 6 days a week I'm not at Kouchi Elementary school, must see my empty, shoe-less cubby and think 'wow, that's not aesthetically pleasing', grab the slippers from the bottom cubby, and pop them into mine.

Either that, or some lil trickster with a fake mustache (probably Chihiro-kun in 4th grade) sneaks in at the dead of night, gleefully and harmlessly pranking me.

No matter how many times I've set them back in one of the free spaces, sooner or later, they pop back up again like little leather dandelions.

Today I had my last day of school. When I arrived in the morning, I found the slippers, once again innocently gazing back at me from our disputed territory. I gently set them down in the bottom cubby for the last time.

As I left school after a day of tearful goodbyes, a thought struck me mid-dash-for-my-car-because-my-shirt-is-sheer-and-it-is-raining. I set my stuff down in my car, and turned back for the entrance. I looked at my shoe cupboard. I picked up the slippers from where I'd deposited them. I placed them in the locker and, after a few false starts involving chipped paint, peeled my name off of the locker.

I consider myself a gracious loser. Except when I'm playing any sort of game (or like basically every other situation). I conceded this battle with the slippers, and I hope they enjoy the victory while it lasts. I'm sure my successor, whenever they eventually arrive, will take up the mantle and continue fighting the good fight in my stead.